It's 2009.

How did that happen?

I have thoughts percolating. I'll share them shortly. Mostly, though, I wanted anyone who may have read this blog to know that I'm still alive, and still happily Catholic. :) It's been an interesting three years. More to say later. I hope everyone is having a blessed Lent.

Artist, or Serial Killer?

Only in our messed up world would society's answer be "both." Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy.

Link (WARNING: EXTREMELY GRAPHIC AND DISTURBING CONTENT)

AAARRRGGGGH!

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!

On the bright side, I think I just found a bright side to the fact that I didn't get tickets to the Papal mass .... I won't have to be there while this nonsense is going on.

I would ask if these politicians even care a little bit about the state of their souls, but just a glance at the headline really tells all on that point.

Thought for the Day

Beauty this awesome cannot be random.

(For a detailed explanation of the above image, click here.)

If you have to ask ....

I sometimes lurk on Catholic Answers forums while feeding my five-month-old. A question with endless (yet remarkably similar) variations that comes up constantly there is "Do I still have to go to Confession if (I'm really sorry, I did an extra penance, I did an Act of Contrition, I already took Communion anyway, the legal statute of limitations has expired, it's Tuesday, etc., etc., etc.)?"

I'm going to make this really easy: If in doubt, GO TO CONFESSION. Whether you "have to" or not. It will make you feel better, and more importantly, it will literally cleanse your soul. The goal should not be avoiding the Confessional at all costs .... the goal should be the squeaky clean soul, bathed in grace and working at peak competency.

Don't try and avoid it. There's nothing you can say that the Priest hasn't heard before, and God already knows you did it, so you don't need to pretend you're hiding from Him, either. Remember Jonah and the Big Fish? How did hiding from God work out for that guy? Yeah, I thought so.

If you're asking yourself (or worse, OTHER PEOPLE!) if it's absolutely necessary for you to go confess whatever you did, then it's a safe bet you'd be helped by the Sacrament, whether strictly required or not. So get thee to a Priest, confess your sin, bask in God's forgiveness and grace, and move on with your life! It has to be better than agonizing over whether or not to go and asking random people on an internet discussion forum whether your sin was evil enough to damn you to hell.

How I wasted (and didn't waste) Lent '08.

In my last post, I mentioned that I didn't put much effort into Lent this year. I won't make excuses for it. Being busy, tired, worn down, in a funk, or whatever is no excuse for wasting opportunities for grace (in fact, they are reasons to seize those opportunities!). But for whatever reason, I just couldn't get into Lent this year.

I had grand plans. Last year, Lent was amazing. I did daily spiritual reading, prayed the Rosary with regularity, gave things away, kept my difficult Lenten promises .... in 2007, God allowed me to be a Lenten powerhouse and showed me in my first Lent as a Catholic what that season of sacrifice (and so much grace) is really all about.

So what went wrong in '08? The simple (and truthful) answer is, I have no idea. Yes, I was busy. Yes, I'm a tired mother of an active preschooler and a baby. Yes, I'm teaching CCD and RCIA and working from home and recovering from surgery and all the rest. But none of that was it ... it was like I just couldn't, and I mean COULDN'T get into the spirit of the season. I couldn't even try. It felt as if this cloud of dark oppression settled over me from Ash Wednesday to Good Friday and occluded my view of God and all that is holy. I wish I could say I rose to the occasion and plowed through with prayer and deep spiritual exercise. But really, I just did the bare minimum to get by.

Interestingly, I think God was telling me something through all of it. My first Lent as a Catholic, I saw the best of what the season has to offer in terms of growth and grace and spiritual depth. My second year, I saw that the Church in her wisdom has provided us a way to grow at least a little even when we are not at our spiritual best, and it's called obedience. Cling to the precepts of the Church and don't let go.

I kept the fast and abstinence days (except for one lunch time when, as I swallowed my last bite of chicken, I realized with a panic "it's FRIDAY!!!!"). I went to Mass and Confession. I can't say I had a great attitude about any of it. I failed at my Lenten promise (it was to give up meat, and I felt horrible after a week of that and quit and didn't really replace it with anything because it's not required). I prayed much less often than usual, and stopped reading my St. Bernadette book halfway through because I got too busy with other things. And still, by my minimal obedience, God in His time gave me the grace to see that He was with me all along, guiding me through the barren desert even when I couldn't feel Him and despite the fact that I wasn't earnestly seeking him.

My bad attitude and general annoyance at the restrictions of Lent this year did nothing to damage the grace that came from simply obeying the law of the Church. My lack of stamina when it came to my Lenten promise made me appreciate the grace that got me through it last year. In short, I realized two things: 1) I can do NOTHING apart from God who gives me strength, and 2) Obedience brings grace even when done without enthusiasm. God's allowing me to go through this dark night of the soul during what should have been a period of intense fellowship with the Lord seriously wounded my spiritual pride (O happy dagger!) and made me MUCH less judgmental of people who seem to simply "go through the motions" during Lent and other liturgical seasons. Holy Mother Church isn't stupid, and she knew what she was doing when she set the rules. Expecting others (even if those expectations are unspoken) to do more than she prescribes is unfair. Only with the help and grace of God can we do anything good at all. Sometimes I forget that, and this Lent was an important wake-up call.

So my "wasted" Lent, especially when juxtaposed with my awesome Lenten memories from last year, wasn't wasted at all -- it was a valuable experience in several ways and taught me a lesson I'll not soon forget. God's grace is not something I will again take for granted or expect to fit into a pretty box, at least not while this experience is fresh in my mind. (May it stay fresh forever so I don't have to go through this again!) Mind you, I'm not recommending everyone go out and intentionally do the bare minimum for Lent next year as a method of growing closer to God ... I assume everyone reading this is more spiritually advanced than I am and wouldn't benefit from that kind of thing. But for me, finishing up my second year as a Catholic, the experience of basic obedience during a spiritual dry spell was a worthwhile one.

Thankfully, it's over now. God gave me my spiritual "groove" back on Good Friday as I prayed the Stations of the Cross, and the last three days have been wonderful as I feel once more connected to my Lord and my Church. But I have been reminded that faith is not about feelings -- and God is fully, totally, 100% present even when I'm not.

Where I've Been

So, it's been almost a year since I have regularly blogged here. What happened?

Life happened. We were trying for a baby. I finally got pregnant. Had a difficult pregnancy and preterm labor, and wound up on bedrest. None of the drugs they tried to keep the baby inside had the desired effect, and little boy #2 was born November 4, 2007, six weeks earlier than originally forecast. By the grace of God and thanks to many, many Memorares said for our little one, our baby is fine. He never needed oxygen, tube feeding or any other major intervention. Even the kidney problems that had shown up on ultrasound throughout the last half of the pregnancy miraculously vanished. Prayer is amazingly powerful.

I did not fare so well. I'll spare the gory details, but suffice it to say that the emergency C-section did not go well for me. I had a couple one-in-several-thousand complications/mistakes happen and ended up needing quite a bit of surgery before they could close me up. I didn't see my baby for twelve hours after he was born, not because HE was too sick, but because I was still recovering myself.

Anyway, the good news is that I'm okay now. Baby #2 is 13.5 weeks old. He was baptized a couple of weeks ago -- a most joyous occasion. He is a ray of sunshine, so sweet, happy, precious and cuddly. Our home is happy.

I'm also coordinating and sometimes teaching RCIA this year, which has kept me busy on top of everything else. More about that later, the baby is crying.

Anyway, this should explain why I've been MIA from the blogosphere for a while ... stay tuned, though, because I'm coming back.

Meme-y goodness.

RNW was too tired after her post to tag anyone, but in the interest of forcing myself to post something, I'm going to pretend she tagged me.

Book Meme Rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

Amazingly enough, I've been caught on a day when I've just cleaned the house and actually put everything I'm not actively using away. I actually don't have much in the way of book clutter right now, it's all neatly on the shelf in the living room or stacked on my bedside table. Right now, I'm at the breakfast table, and the closet book to me is a cookbook called "Complete Comfort Food." Page 123 is just a giant, delicious-looking photo of chicken fajitas with all the fixings.

The next closest "book" is my husband's 720-page "Cheaper Than Dirt" shooting accessories catalog. From page 123:

"Designed with a pleasant oder (sic), this gun treatment is assured perfect firing from -50 F below (sic) to 350 F. This is the single and best (sic) gun care maintenance product ever designed to solve a gun owner's cleaning, lubricating and corrosion potection problems. A unique formulation of active lubricants will not freeze, oxidize or evaporate."

Clearly, proofreading is not a priority at Cheaper Than Dirt. Perhaps the expense of employing a decent editor would force the brand to raise prices, thus destroying the brand name forever.

The closest book to me related to the topic of this blog is The Essential Pope Benedict. It's on the shelf in the living room. I'm not going to post excerpts right now -- go buy it and read it for yourself, it's awesome.

I've been tagged.

I'm sure you've seen these before: blog memes. This is the first time I've been tagged (thanks, Anne), so here goes nothing. Here are the rules:

People who get tagged need to write a blog entry of their own 6 weird things as well as stating this rule clearly! Three people need to be tagged and their names listed. Finally a comment needs to be left on each tagged person’s blog…

Six weird things about me? I don't know if I can narrow it down to just six. Let's see here ....

1. I don't just loathe mayonnaise, I fear it. My younger sister used to chase me around the house with two pieces of white bread just oozing with the stuff, and I would run away shrieking. I would resort to mild violence, if necessary, to keep her away from me. This was as late as high school. To this day, if someone in my household requires mayonnaise on some food item, I insist my husband deal with it. I will not keep it in my fridge on a regular basis, where I might accidentally brush against it while reaching for the ketchup. If my husband has been eating it, I make him brush his teeth before kissing me. And if it touches my food by mistake, like someone's mayonnaise-infested burger brushed up against mine on the serving tray, I will cut away the entire "contaminated" section and throw it away before eating the rest.

2. All that said, I like spinach dip. Yes, I know it contains mayonnaise. But I can't see the mayonnaise.

3. I don't notice my own accent (Southern California), but when I hear it emerging in my son, it grates on my nerves. Dude, fer rill. I have no idea how anyone can stand to hear me talk, and I have asked my husband to make a concerted effort to talk more when our son is around so maybe he'll grow up sounding more like the mid-Atlantic city boy he actually is than a transplanted beach bum like his mom.

4. My favorite music genre is trip-hop. Moby, Mono, Morcheeba, Portishead ... it's not weird that people in general like these artists, it's weird that a devoutly religious, politically conservative, SUV-driving suburban mommy who has never "tripped" on any illegal substances in her life likes them.

5. My other favorite music is Latin chant. My mom called the other day while I was listening to my "Renaissance Classics" CD, heard it in the background, and asked "WHAT are you listening to?" I told her "Church music," and her reply was a bewildered, "Why?" So I guess it's weird.

6. I can't stand thinking about veins. Apparently I share this phobia with Shellie. I don't like to look at them or even think about them (just writing this section of the post is making my skin crawl and my hands go clammy), it makes me squirm to get my pulse or blood pressure checked, and blood tests require me to lie prone or I will pass out and throw up. I am somewhat better about this since having a C-section that required me to have an IV for a day, but still, just thinking about it ... ugh. (Needles aren't the problem, as I'm fine with shots so long as I know they're intramuscular -- it's thinking about the needles going into veins that bothers me.)

Weird enough for you? Okay. Dixie, C.J., and Tanya, you're next. TAG.

Perhaps the funniest thing I have ever read ...

From Sister Mary Martha comes this clarification regarding the Brown Scapular:

Do I think if you wear a Brown Scapular and lead a sinful life and are not sorry ever but just run around saying, "Ha ha, I'm wearing a brown Scapular! Satan will never get me!" that you won't see the fires of hell? Not a chance. Satan already has you. The one time you take it off to shower, you'll slip on the soap and crack your head open. The bus that knocks you out of your shoes will knock you right out of your scapular. The flood waters that wash you away will wash the scapular off your neck. Your evil boyfriend will remove it while you sleep and murder you for your jewels. The paramedic will take it off to give you a shot of adrenaline that doesn't work. The nursing home worker will steal it from you. The atomic blast will vaporize the Scapular one millisecond before it vaporizes you. As you tumble, end over end, down the basement stairs with no one home to hear all the thumping, your scapular will be tossed off and land right before your eyes along with you at the foot of the stairs. As the life drains from you as you lay bleeding from your head wound, you will reach pathetically for your scapular, but the cat will grab it and run out the basement window. At some point, you are going to want to throw it in the wash. When you do, you'll drop dead.

You are not going to get away with it, mark my words.

I held it together until the cat grabbed the scapular and ran out the basement window. Then I laughed so loudly MY cat scrambled for the basement window (which is closed, ouch). This is an excerpt from a much longer (and just as funny and truthful) post, so go check it out.

Tell It Like It Is.

Protestant Pastor gets huffy about shallow lady who is honest about what she's seeking in a church. RNW calls him on his incredible hypocrisy.

Oh, the irony. As a Gen Xer, it would entertain me .... that is, if it weren't breaking our Lord's heart.

Pray for me.

I'm teaching RCIA tomorrow night -- as in adults with preconceptions, not 4th graders who more or less blindly accept every word I say. I am prepared in many ways by my background in politics (particularly concerning the subject matter, which is the fifth commandment, i.e. pro-life issues), but still ... to be asked to give this lecture is intimidating and awesome at the same time. I am looking forward to it, but I am quite scared of messing up -- please pray that the Holy Spirit will work through me to bring people in the class to a closer and better understanding and appreciation of the Lord's teaching on Life issues.

It is so strange to be in this position. From "I could never be Catholic" to trying to convince others in less than two short years ... it is amazing what God can do if you allow Him to move you in uncomfortable ways.

Please also pray for my family, in particular my father. I try not to talk about them much on the blog in case they ever discover it, but I have to ask for prayers on this -- my dad told me he's been thinking a lot about Catholicism since I converted. He's even been watching Fr. Corapi on EWTN (those of you who know my father will laugh knowingly at this). He has a few obstacles in his way, but they are the same ones I had when I wrote this post, and I entered the Church less than six months later. So pray. Pray God's will be done, and that my father be open to God's will, even if it means losing face in the aftermath of some pretty strong statements. Been there, done that. It's hard. But SO worth it. If (and when!) my father receives the REAL Eucharist for the first time .... well, I can't even think about it without tearing up and getting anxious for him. So please pray.

My husband says if my dad and my dad's good friend/ex-pastor convert to Catholicism (against all odds and in addition to myself), he's putting HIS dad in for sainthood. I agree. John H., pray for us!

When, Not If.

From today's Mass readings (emphasis mine):

Responsorial Psalm
Ps 91:1-2, 10-11, 12-13, 14-15

R. (cf. 15b) Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.

You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High,
who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,
say to the LORD, “My refuge and fortress,
my God in whom I trust.”

R. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.

No evil shall befall you,
nor shall affliction come near your tent,
For to his angels he has given command about you,
that they guard you in all your ways.

R. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.

Upon their hands they shall bear you up,
lest you dash your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the asp and the viper;
you shall trample down the lion and the dragon.

R. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.

Because he clings to me, I will deliver him;
I will set him on high because he acknowledges my name.
He shall call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in distress;
I will deliver him and glorify him.

R. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.

Reading this today, I had a small epiphany -- it says "when." Not "if." We will be in distress. We will suffer. We will get into trouble (often of our own making!). That's life on this rock. But God will deliver us, God will be with us, all we need to do is cling to Him and we will survive.

We are not God, we are not in control, and we can't stop every bad thing from happening through prayer, maximum effort, or anything else. Bad things are coming. We don't know what they are. We don't know when they'll happen. But rest assured, they will -- one need only to look at history (no matter how recent or ancient), let alone prophecy, to see evidence of that. And WHEN (not if!) the bad stuff happens, the handbook for survival is found right here in this Psalm.

In the Gospel today, Jesus gave us another concise "survival guide" -- the survival guide for temptation:

Gospel
Lk 4:1-13

Filled with the Holy Spirit, Jesus returned from the Jordan
and was led by the Spirit into the desert for forty days,
to be tempted by the devil.
He ate nothing during those days,
and when they were over he was hungry.
The devil said to him,
“If you are the Son of God,
command this stone to become bread.”
Jesus answered him,
“It is written, One does not live on bread alone.”
Then he took him up and showed him
all the kingdoms of the world in a single instant.
The devil said to him,
“I shall give to you all this power and glory;
for it has been handed over to me,
and I may give it to whomever I wish.
All this will be yours, if you worship me.”
Jesus said to him in reply,
“It is written:
You shall worship the Lord, your God,
and him alone shall you serve.”
Then he led him to Jerusalem,
made him stand on the parapet of the temple, and said to him,
“If you are the Son of God,
throw yourself down from here, for it is written:
He will command his angels concerning you, to guard you,
and:
With their hands they will support you,
lest you dash your foot against a stone.”
Jesus said to him in reply,
“It also says,
You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.”
When the devil had finished every temptation,
he departed from him for a time.

When Jesus said, "One does not live on bread alone," He referenced Deuteronomy 8:2-3:

"Remember how for forty years now the LORD, your God, has directed all your journeying in the desert, so as to test you by affliction and find out whether or not it was your intention to keep his commandments.

He therefore let you be afflicted with hunger, and then fed you with manna, a food unknown to you and your fathers, in order to show you that not by bread alone does man live, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of the LORD."

Afflictions and temptations are not just part of life on Earth -- they're part of God's plan for us. The "silver bullet" to conquer both is found in a single, simple, simultaneously joyful (because we know it will work) and terrifying (because we're afraid we can't do it) concept: Obedience. Cling to the Lord. Love Him. Obey His commandments. Keep the faith. By doing this, we can and will survive anything the Lord, the adversary, or everyday life throws our way.

"It is written ... it is written ... it is written." Jesus faces each temptation the exact same way, with obedience to the Word of God. My old pastor at the megachurch gave a great sermon on this several years ago -- the main concept being that when the devil tempts you, you go to the Word and find an irrefutable reason not to give in. Just say "It is written ... !" It's kind of a "Don't shoot the messenger" thing -- like saying, "Hey, these aren't my rules, they're God's. I'm just following orders. Take it up with Him." And we all know Who comes out on top whenever the devil attempts to "take it up" with God.

So our answer to every temptation should be, "It is written ... !" And as Catholics, we have a lot more writing to use to back us up -- seven more books of Holy Scripture, plus two thousand years (give or take a few) of written teaching and exposition by the Fathers and Doctors and great Saints of the Church. That means we should have absolutely no trouble finding ample justification for our obedience to God if we just take a moment to look for it.

And on those occasions when despite our best effort (or even due to a complete lack of effort), we fail to engage the enemy with our most lethal weapon (our obedience to God) and we are broken, weary and afraid of the battles to come, then we can head to the great Hospital for the walking wounded throughout the Church Militant, the Confessional. The Sacrament of Reconciliation will heal us, restore our soul and make us stronger and better equipped for the next battle. Losing one battle doesn't have to mean losing the war, so be encouraged and grateful for the opportunity to try once more to get it right. And be always armed with the most effective weapon against evil: Obedience.

Lent by the Numbers, days 2-5

2/22

Alcohol: 0
Rosary Decades: 1, plus thirty minutes' Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament (more on that later)
Clothing put in donation box: -1 (bought a new dress)

2/23

Alcohol: 0
Rosary Decades: 5
Clothing put in donation box: net 1 (3 in the box, but I went shopping again and got 2 things)


2/24

Alcohol: 1 beer with dinner, after sundown, because that counts as Sunday Vigil and I am totally on Team "Sundays Don't Count Toward the 40 Days of Lent."
Rosary Decades: 1
Clothing in donation box: 0

2/25

Alcohol: 0
Rosary Decades: 1
Clothing in donation box: I didn't count items, but it was two large shopping bags packed full. I feel lighter and more unencumbered/unattached already!

I don't know how long I'm going to keep track of this on the blog; I know it's tedious reading. But it helps me to see how I'm doing as I get started on my first real Lent.

Yesterday's Stats

Lent by the Numbers:
Alcohol: 0.
Rosary: 5 Decades.
Items put in the donation box: 0.

Aside from all that, I've been reading the Lent/Easter volume of "In Conversation with God" by Francis Fernandez. I have been terribly convicted on quite a few habits of mine in just two days of reading, but also inspired to grow past those things and get closer to Christ, especially since this is the season for it, being Lent and all. I'll have more to say as I process my thoughts on this (so far) amazing little book.

Oh, this is perfect!

I love this. Just go see for yourself.

(Hat tip: Anne.)

It's Lent.

Lenten Resolutions:

1. Give up alcoholic drinks until Easter.
2. Pray at least one decade of the Rosary daily.
3. Clean out my closet and dresser and give away everything I'm not using to the House of Mercy free clothing shop.

With regard to drinking, it's something I enjoy that I could give up without forcing my family to do it with me (like if I gave up red meat or something -- since I'm the one who does all the cooking, and would not cook separate meals, that wouldn't work without a lot of extra planning). I love a glass of wine with dinner, a relaxing cocktail after a particulary tough day, or an after dinner drink with neighborhood friends after the kids have gone to bed. It will be a sacrifice to give these things up for a season, but I gladly do it for the love of my Savior and as a mortification of my spoiled flesh. The fact that I am blessed with such abundance and leisure as to be able to partake of the things I mentioned above (along with the good food and idle chatter that inevitably go with them) on a fairly regular basis is a good reason to quit them for a time and get some needed perspective.

As far as the Rosary, I say "at least one" decade because I have to start somewhere. I don't pray the Rosary at all currently (at least not on any kind of regular basis), so one decade is all I can commit to without feeling like I'm dooming myself to certain failure. That said, a friend of mine who lives four doors down from me wants to pray the Rosary daily with me during Lent, so it is entirely possible that more than one decade will get done more often than not. Accountability is nice, but unfortunately, it can also cut both ways, and I can see us cutting each other way too much slack since we're both busy moms. So I wanted to make my own solid commitment to at least one decade, with or without my friend.

And concerning the clothing donation .... this is going to be something else. I think I'll feel better when it is over. I have a walk in closet and several storage tubs jam packed with designer clothes, shoes and handbags from my life before kids when I was quite a bit thinner and definitely richer and more career-and-status-oriented. I have held onto these things for years now hoping to have reason to wear them again, either through dramatic weight loss or career progress or both. I have got to let it go. The weight loss may or may not happen, but really, I'd like to get pregnant, so hopefully not. And if my writing and speaking career picks up again, then I can buy a few new things if I need to. There is no reason to have the majoriity of my closet space filled with things I am not using and may NEVER use again. But boy, is it going to hurt to see those things go .... knowing exactly how much money they represent (that could have been put in savings or given to the Church or the poor) is the worst part. Oh, well, I trust that it will all be put to good use by the Missionaries of Our Lady of Divine Mercy.

Happy Mardi Gras . . .

. . . and Happy Birthday to me. I'm twenty-six tomorrow.

Twenty-five was so mind-blowing in terms of growth and joy both in faith and daily life that I'm a little nervous about the year to come (either not living up to the past year in growth or surpassing it in terms of life upheaval!), but I need to get over it. Superstition is bad!

After my birthday comes Lent. I'm really glad Ash Wednesday is the day afer my birthday because the prospect of not being able to eat my way through an upset tummy in the morning will be a powerful incentive not to overdo it with the celebratory toasting and/or feasting tomorrow night.

I'll be posting my Lenten resolutions tomorrow, and blogging should be a bit more regular after that because I'm going to have plenty of Lenten reading to dissect here. I hope not too many of my blogging buddies will be fasting from the computer, because I will need all the support I can get during this season of self-denial. I'm terrible at self-denial. I could blame eleven years of fundamentalist protestantism and the fact that no one ever mentioned Lent or sacrifice or mortification of the flesh during that time, but I think the blame really rests with my own wretched self. Surely if I had been the scholar of Holy Scripture I believed myself to be, I would have noticed a theme . . . .

Anyway, have a wonderful Mardi Gras and stay safe. Then come back and walk through Lent with me!

Oh, one more thing before bed: Check out Jimmy Akin's Annual Lent Fight. It's like the Ultimate Guide to Lent.

You've got questions ... Jimmy's got answers. (Hat tip: Shellie.)

$487.61

Apparently, £250 (or $487.61 USD), is the going rate for a human soul these days.

Obviously, I mean that in more ways than one.

Good Monsters

I bought the new Jars of Clay CD as a Valentine's Day gift for my husband. He's been wanting some good Christian music to listen to on the way to and from work, and as the senior audiophile in this family, I'm happy to help him out.

I've been a Jars of Clay fan since 1994, when they were still opening for PFR and circulating their demo tape (yes, TAPE, you kids stop snickering!) in hopes of getting noticed. Back then, I loved their edgy sound and they way they combined catchy pop hooks with ancient-sounding chants, a driving rock beat and a message that was real, not sappy or contrived.

Then they hit it big. "Flood" was played not just on K-LOVE and Z-TV but on the big rock stations and MTV, as well. The innovative studio sound they were known for didn't translate well onstage. Concerts were lackluster. The record label took over. In the thirteen intervening years I remember exactly one song that Jars of Clay wrote, "I Need You," and that's because we sang it at the Megachurch. Don't get me wrong, it's a great tune. But there's nothing edgy, thoughtful or unique about it.

Fast forward to 2007. "Good Monsters" is the CD I would have expected from that edgy, talented young band thirteen years ago once they had some maturity under their belts. Somehow, during the mediocre middle of all this, they grew musically and spiritually, and the new CD, while dark, is dark in a real and gratifying way. It's not broody for the sake of being broody. The music is driving rock crossed with a fun 80s beat that lightens the surprisingly heavy subject matter enough to be listenable. It's the sound of mature Christians wrestling real problems, like how to reconcile the problems of starving, thirsty children, abandoned mothers, and racial hatred with a God who claims to love us all ("Oh My God," track 7). It's the sound of pampered rock stars coming to terms with their mortality and the futility of the things of this world ("Dead Man (Carry Me)," track 2). And they bring the Jars of Clay Experience full circle with "Take Me Higher," which echoes "Liquid" off their debut album:

Liquid:

Arms nailed down,
Are you telling me something?
Eyes turned out,
Are you looking for someone?

This is the one thing,
The one thing that I know.

Blood-stained brow,
Are you dying for nothing?
Flesh and blood,
Is it so elemental?

Take Me Higher:

It took a lot to turn away
Blood and water from one side
It took your eyes to stare me down
It took the truth to set me free, to set me free

Looking for place to hide
Waiting for the wind to rise
My soul is waiting
Looking for a place to hide
I need a little peace tonight

Anyway, Jars of Clay is back and better than ever. I'm loving the new CD and I hope those of you who, like me, fell away from the band after their debut album, will run out and buy this CD and reward them for their incredible growth.